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Writer's pictureStacey Paige

Why change is so tricky, and how to fix it

Imagine it’s 10,000 years ago. You’re hanging out with your tribe, sitting around the fire. Everyone’s had a good day gathering berries, and there’s a sense of calm.


But then one wild, adventurous soul stands up and says, “Hey, what if we didn’t stay in this cave forever? What if we check out that lush valley over there?”


Cue the collective gasp. 😱


“No way!” someone yells, dropping their berries. “We’ve always lived in this cave!"


“What if there’s a saber-toothed tiger in that valley!?” someone else exclaims.


“What if the berries there taste terrible?!”


“What if we can’t find a good cave?!”



Suddenly, everyone’s on edge. Sure, the cave has its drafts, maybe even the occasional bear, and the berries are a bit sour, but hey - at least it’s familiar!


That valley? That’s the great unknown. Better the chilly cave you know than the sunny valley full of all the hypothetical dangers your brain can come with.


Their fear of change wasn’t just inconvenient, it was a survival mechanism.


Fast forward to the present, and that resistance to change is still alive and well. Sure, we’re no longer worried about saber-toothed tigers or strange-tasting berries (not an endorsement to eat unknown berries in the wild - those could in fact do some damage!), but when we’re faced with the unknown, our brain still reacts like we’re about to wander into dangerous territory and our very lives are on the line.


The cave our ancestors refused to leave is not so different from our modern routines. When faced with something new—whether it’s starting a new job, deciding to wake up earlier for yoga, or even just changing your go-to coffee order—our brains go into overdrive, warning us of all the potential “saber-toothed tigers” that might come with it.


Because deep down, our brains are hard-wired to equate change with danger. In the days of actual physical threats, the unknown often was dangerous, and playing it safe usually meant survival.


Our brains haven’t evolved much since then, so when something new appears on the horizon, the amygdala (the brain’s trusty threat detector) lights up and says, “Whoa, hold up! Is this change going to eat us?!”


As a result, your body releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, putting you in a state of fight, flight, or freeze. This is super helpful when you’re running from a predator—but not so much when you’re just trying to eat clean or start a blog.


But while our brains haven’t evolved much, we have. We can embrace change, and recognize that it isn’t something to fear, but rather to embrace.


Whether it’s a small shift in your routine or a big life transition, you have the tools to navigate it with ease.


Here are a few tips:



Take Small Steps


Rather than diving into a huge shift all at once, break it down into smaller, more manageable steps. Want to begin a fitness routine? Don’t go from doing nothing to scheduling yourself in at the gym seven days a week. Try walking for a bit each day or commit to one group exercise class a week - then gradually build from there. Small steps don’t scare your brain as much, and each tiny victory builds your confidence.


Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable


Here’s the thing: change will feel uncomfortable, but that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Think of your brain like a security guard who’s had the same route for years—if you suddenly throw a new hallway into the mix, they’re going to be suspicious at first. That discomfort is simply your brain’s way of saying, “Hey, this isn’t what we’re used to.”


When you start feeling that twinge of anxiety or resistance, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that it’s normal. Learning to be okay with discomfort is one of the best ways to build resilience. The more you do it, the more you prove to your brain that it’s safe to explore new territory.


Reframe the Narrative


Our brains love to focus on what could go wrong with change. But here’s the thing: we’re not in survival mode anymore. The unknown isn’t necessarily full of dangers—it’s full of opportunities! When you catch yourself thinking about all the things that might go wrong, consciously flip the script. What could go right?


Instead of thinking to yourself, “What if I fail at this new job?” try asking, “What if I thrive in it? Shifting your mindset to one of curiosity and optimism can ease the brain’s fear response, helping you to embrace change rather than fear it.


Lean on Your Tribe


You don’t need to go through big changes alone. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or a coach, having people in your corner can make the process of change feel a lot less daunting. Surround yourself with people who remind you of your strength and hold you accountable.


Use Mindfulness to Calm the Alarm Bells


When your brain goes into “this-is-a-threat” mode, mindfulness can be your secret weapon. By practicing mindfulness, you give yourself a chance to step out of the autopilot panic mode and into the present moment. The more you practice, the more you naturally default to being grounded in the present. And the more present and grounded you are, the less likely you’ll be to let fear dictate your decisions. Click here for this week’s supportive five minute fix guided meditation.



Change feels risky, and our instinct is to stay in our metaphorical cave, but remember: the valley probably has better berries, warmer weather, and maybe even fewer bears.


It’s worth exploring.


 

Five Minute Fix Guided Meditation #33: Navigate change with confidence and ease 🦋




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