The Secret to Freedom? Stop Taking Things Personally

Let’s be real - when someone says something unkind to us, ouch.

It stings.

Words can cut deep, leaving us questioning, doubting, or replaying them in our heads for days (or, worse, in the middle of the night when we should be sleeping).

But here’s the truth: what someone else says about us actually has nothing to do with us.

Their words are a reflection of their perspective, their experiences, or maybe just a bad mood that day. In other words, a reflection of them, not our truth.

Now flip the script.

When someone offers a compliment, it feels amazing! We soak it in, replay that one a few times too, and maybe even let it carry us through the day with a little extra pep in our step.

But guess what... we’re not meant to take that personally either.

Wait… what?

Why??

I mean, I like when nice things are said about me.

Here’s why: true freedom comes from not taking anything personally.

The moment we start taking things - good or bad - personally, we drift away from our own truth. We begin looking outward for approval and measuring ourselves by someone else’s opinion.

And when we do that, we hand over our power.

Empowerment comes from standing in our own center, steady and confident in who we are, no matter what anyone else says.

Now, this doesn’t mean we suddenly stop feeling the difference between words of kindness and words of criticism.

Of course we do - we’re human.

A compliment can feel warm and fuzzy, while harsh words can feel like a punch in the gut.

At an energetic level, one is light and uplifting, the other heavy and sharp.

But here’s where the deeper lesson lives: the way we react tells us more about what’s going on inside of us than it does about the person speaking.

If a comment cuts deep, it’s usually because it brushed up against an old wound or insecurity that’s asking for healing.

For example, if someone calls you “stupid” and you know, with every fiber of your being, that you’re not, the words slide right off.

You might even shrug and think, “Well, that’s their issue, not mine.”

But if that same comment lights a fire in you - anger, shame, defensiveness - that’s a sign.

A sign that there’s a tender place inside still needing attention.

The same idea applies to compliments.

They’re lovely to receive, and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying them.

But if we start depending on them, if our sense of worth rises and falls based on whether or not someone else notices us, we end up building our confidence on shaky ground.

Compliments are like sprinkles on top of the cookie - they add sweetness, but they’re not the substance.

The real work is learning to anchor into our own truth, so whether someone praises us or criticizes us, we stay steady in who we are.

That’s what it means to not take things personally.

It’s not about becoming numb or pretending words don’t affect us - it’s about staying centered, so our self-worth doesn’t swing with the opinions of others.

The goal is to build an inner confidence so steady that neither criticism nor praise can knock us off balance.

So how do we do that?

By building our inner foundation.

When we grow our confidence from the inside out, we don’t need outside validation to remind us of who we are.

Here are a few simple practices that can help:

✨ Affirmations – Speak them daily. A few to try:

• I am confident in who I am.

• My worth comes from within.

• I trust myself fully.

✨ Daily reflection – At the end of each day, name one thing you’re proud of yourself for. Write it down, say it out loud, and own it.

These practices remind you that your truth lives inside you—not in anyone else’s words.

And when you need a little extra support, try my Mindful Moments guided meditation Don’t Take Things Personally: Meditation for Inner Confidence and Self-Worth. It will help you center and release the pull of outside opinions. ✨

👉 [Listen here] and share it with someone who could use this reminder too.